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"Now its fuck everybody, like a Scorpio"

me: "no honestly I'm the most chill person you'll ever meet"
me: *throws shade 24/7*
me: *blatantly hates everyone and everything*
me: *is overdramatic*
me: *is a major asshole*
me: *complains about everything*

rexuality:

but how do you convince little kids to wear clever costumes they won’t appreciate?

"mommy can i be batman?"
"no you and your brother are going as van gogh and the starry night painting, it’ll be so hilarious and witty"
"i want to be batman though"
"shhhhh mommy needs more followers on pinterest"

How do you politely tell someone that you want them naked on top of you

HOW DO I LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT I AM INTERESTED IN KISSING THEM

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

zodiacmind:

Fun facts about your sign here

sickhumor:

Heavier than it looks.

sickhumor:

Heavier than it looks.

be-a-riot-grrrl:

don’t tell me that kids don’t internalize your racist bullshit bc they absolutely do